Gag Dyad: art theft / foot fetishism

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out, and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: ‘I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.’
— Crow Jane

Did you hear about the podophilic sadist and the masochistic misopod?
Podophilic sadist says, ‘Feet!’
Masochistic misopod cries, ‘Feet!’
Podophilic sadist whispers, ‘Feet!’
Masochistic misopod whimpers, ‘Feet!’
Podophilic sadist exults with a delirious, ‘Feeeeet!’
Masochistic misopod expires with a breathless, ‘Feet!’
‘Huh,’ says the podophilic sadist. ‘That guy really has a problem with feet.’
— AH

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